Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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