it hurts more in the daytime
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
