wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
