i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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