I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
