Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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