haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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