This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
