I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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