You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
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One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
A bitchslap is in order.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit