Don't you send me to vm
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.