i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors