it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
