Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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