its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
