In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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