Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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