he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
