I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize