I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Randomize