i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
