belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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