I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
