I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
