I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
