Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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