I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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