didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
