Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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