Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize