these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
