I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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