it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
only if we run a train.
done.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
