They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can I color on your dick again?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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