She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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