hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think I won the penis lottery.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
