Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
