"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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