So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What a dumb baby whore.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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