the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
