do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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