I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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