Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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