Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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