New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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