im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
