Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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