my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
