How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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