you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
