So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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