is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
