And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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