i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
