I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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