Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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