so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
