do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
